Month: July 2021

Gemma

To my dear Eli,

Hello, my love. It has been far too long since I was in your arms and I miss you. I loathe not being by your side.

I made apple pie for you today. I knew you’d appreciate it, as you always did. I can still hear your chuckle when I would set it on the table in front of you. Our children sure did enjoy it too.

Now, I sit here at the desk you made for me for our 5th anniversary and smile at all the memories that fill me with such pleasant joy. I long to be back in your arms again, even if it was just one more time. In fact, I can almost feel you holding me every time I close my eyes.

It has been what seems like an eternity since I lost you. After 43 years by your side, and you by mine, being without you at all is far too long. You have and will always be my love, my partner, my friend. I pray for our children to find, give, and cultivate the same kind of enduring love that we had and what I still hold for you inn my heart. It wasn’t always easy loving a stubborn man like you. And looking back, I know there was never a time I didn’t love you.

There are so many memories I still hold of you so close to my heart.

Now, I know you are not wondering why I am writing you today. You never were one to forget a day, especially our anniversary. Yet, this is the first time I have had to celebrate it without you here. I missed seeing your smile turn warm as you see me walk into the kitchen in the morning. I ached when our daughter brought me flowers this afternoon. You were always so good at giving me flowers. Even if they were from the field down the way or snuck from our neighbors garden.

As I sit here thinking of all we have been through, my thoughts drift back to when we were children. Do you remember when we first met? I had only known of you for a week when you made a lasting impression. The new boy in town. Even my sister had twittered on about how handsome you looked when she saw you moving your family’s furniture into the house.

We never talked about how we met, not after that day. But I still remember, Eli. What were you thinking, hiding up in that big ol’ tree throwing apples at me?

There I was, in my brand new green gingham dress I’d made for my fifteenth birthday, sitting on the fence, hoping the boys walking by would notice me.

You must have noticed me, so my objective had been met but I was too furious with you at the time to realize. Every time a boy came close, I had sat up straight and pretty for them. None of them noticed me though. Any time any one of those boys would start to look in my direction they were clubbed in the head by an apple.

I still can’t believe none of them seemed interested in climbing up and walloping you good. No, they would take one glance at me and just kept walking.

Every time I glared up at that big apple tree I couldn’t find you up there among all the branches. Maybe they thought it was me throwing those apples.

Yet, no matter how much I hollered at you to come down and face me, you wouldn’t. Instead, all I heard was your laugh floatin’ down on the breeze. I suppose I can admit now that I was drawn to that laugh of yours, so carefree and fearless. Mind you, I would have climbed up there and dragged you down to the ground so I could give you a proper piece of my mind, if I hadn’t been wearing that dress.

When you finally did come down I was ready to scream at you. You didn’t pause for even a second. No, you did not. You strode right up to me, kissed me senseless so I could barely breathe and said ‘I don’t want any of those other boys to notice you even for a second. And now, you won’t ever forget me either. I’m going to marry you one day. Gemma Anne Dawler.’

You held my hand that day. And walked me home too.

And not once did I forget you or that darn apple tree. Why do you think I made you apple pie every year? I never said it out loud but I still think you knew why. You smiled at me like you knew. Or maybe that was just your smile whenever you looked at me.

Today, as I watch our grandchildren play outside together, I can see you in each of them. The way your eyes sparkled merrily whenever you were playing pranks, your laughter, your mannerisms, and most of all; your smile.

I treasure every moment I have with them, feeling closer to you when I am with our darling children and their sweet babies.

I take comfort that even though you are gone, I still have your hugs when my boys come to visit me. I still see your pranks come alive as our children play tricks on each other. What a wonderful life and legacy we have made together. You have made such a beautiful impact on so many lives, all because you sat up in that apple tree and chucked apples at everyone except me. For that, I will always be eternally grateful.

Happy Anniversary my love; my Eli.

Mariah

“…man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Pastor Ryland intoned, beaming at the two love birds in front of him.

Mariah turned to her new husband and blushed as he drew her in for a kiss.

Their kiss felt deeper, as if it held more meaning, and Mariah melted into it.

“Who knew so much could change in less than 48 hours.” Bryce whispered as they broke their first married kiss.

She couldn’t bear the distance and pulled him back in for a quick peck.

In their bubble of newly wedded bliss they were oblivious of the empty chapel and the decided lack of well wishers. There hadn’t been time.

As they climbed into his waiting black Audi, Mariah giggled.

“Where to, Mrs Lorssen?” Bryce gave her another kiss.

“Mrs Lorssen has a nice ring to it.”

He leaned in close and smiled an inch from her face, his lips temptingly close to hers. “And where does Mrs Lorssen want to eat?”

She looked down at her wedding dress. It wasn’t a big grand poofy dress but she felt conspicuous in all white. “In this?”

His smile kicked up a notch. “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing? I’m proud to have such a wonderful, beautiful bride seen on my arm. Then everyone will know we are married.”

“Aren’t the rings to tell people we are married?” She laughed. “I can’t wear a wedding dress for the rest of our lives.”

“Why not?”

They both laughed and gave each other a short kiss. “Back to important things. I vote to go somewhere that has yummy cheesy fries.”

“Done.”

After a few minutes of quiet hand holding as they drove, Mariah squeezed his hand. “I haven’t seen where you live. Is that bad?”

Bryce stopped at a red light and looked over at her with concern. “You sound upset. Are you worried I live in a dump?”

Her heart lightened at his smile. “I guess I just realized how fast this all has happened. I haven’t even told my parents. I haven’t even met your parents.” Her eyes went round as she grabbed his knee. “You do have parents, right?”

“Yes Mariah, I have parents. And they are alive and well up in Maine.”

She sank in her seat. “Your mom is going to hate me. Is that why you haven’t told me about her? Does she know about me?”

“Mariah. My mother knew about you about five minutes after I met you.”

She cut him off. “That was only two days ago. She IS going to hate me.”

“I made you sound pretty wonderful.” He paused and Mariah’s breathing hitched at the silence. “Mariah, don’t be mad. I may have told my mother that I had found the one I was going to marry after that first time.”

“No!” She nearly fainted. A strained laugh bubbled out instead.

“Let’s take it one step at a time.” His calm tone kept her from a full-on panic.  “Food first. Then we can tour each other’s apartments to decide where we are going to move in. I’m open to either one. As long as you live there with me I’ll be blissfully happy.”

“Then we tackle parents.” Mariah nodded. With a plan laid out, it didn’t seem so overwhelming.

“Not literally I hope. My parents wouldn’t be too thrilled to be tackled by a daughter in law they had never met.” Bryce flashed her a charming smile.

“Ha ha Bryce. I was not saying literally. Although if you want to try to tackle my dad I would love to see you try it. He is built like a rock.” She leaned in to whisper. “But he gives the best hugs.”

“I think we should stick with a phone call today and then focus on what sort of honeymoon we want to have. We didn’t really give ourselves the time to plan one and I want to do a real one.”

Mariah laid her head on his shoulder as he continued to drive. “I knew I married you for a reason.”

“Because I want a honeymoon?” He laughed.

She kissed his cheek. “No. Because you are so level headed. I have been panicking about 5 different things all at once and you haven’t even twitched your eye in concern.”

“I can’t promise I’ll always react this well because I am not perfect but I am going to do my best to make you feel safe and protected with me so that you know I will be next to you, supporting you in fulfilling your dreams in the same way I know you will be standing next to me in the pursuit of mine.”

Mariah looked up into his eyes. “That was beautiful.”

He shrugged, glancing toward her with a slight blush making an appearance. “It’s what I grew up seeing from my parents and I want to have the same kind of relationship with my wife, with you. And I know that I won’t have the same marriage as them but I know that if I don’t put in the effort, there is no chance of it evercoming close.”

“Good point.” She nodded. “Cheesy fries? Are they still happening?”

“Yes, love.” He pointed ahead of them. “Just another minute. Have you ever been to Daryl’s Tacos?”

She shook her head. “I’ll admit that I don’t like going out to eat alone so I haven’t been out to eat much since moving here.”

“And you moved here how many months ago? 4?”

“A little less than 6 months. But it has felt longer because of work and not willing to go out alone. I don’t have very many friends.”

“Well, lucky for me that we happened to stop in at the same grocery store and were looking for the same sandwich.”

Mariah laughed as she pushed at him. “With only one left, I am glad you were willing to share it.”

“I’ll forever consider us sharing that sandwich as our first date.”

“I love you, Bryce.” Mariah once again leaned onto his shoulder.

“And I love you too, Mrs. Lorssen.”

Nyah

“This assignment is intended to show me that you are prepared for this class. That you know enough of the basics from your previous class and learning to not drown in the information we are going to take on this semester.” Professor Lange bellowed from the front of the classroom.

Nyah glanced down at the paper she had been handed, outlining the project. It seemed almost too complicated in its simplicity.

Professor Lange did not stop his monologue. “I have put up a list by each of the doors so that you can go look to see who your partner will be for this assignment on your way out. And since you are adults I expect you to find and contact your partners without taking up valuable class time. Furthermore, there will be no exceptions or partner swapping. There is no room for any special circumstances regarding who you are with. I will not be available to discuss it. However, I am happy to meet with anyone who has questions about the material. Now, let us get down to the real reason we are here. If you have all done your reading as you should have, then today’s lecture won’t be so overwhelming.” He moved to the podium and powered on the projector.

Again, Nyah looked down at the assignment that had just been thrown her way. It was more of a project than a mere assignment and this was her first semester and only the second college class that she had ever attended. She knew no one. How on earth was she supposed to find her partner if she didn’t know anyone?

She sucked in a breath and hurried to open her notebook and start taking notes. She had done the reading and the lecture still seemed overwhelming. Maybe she should have taken an easier class load so that she wouldn’t fail her first semester.

In the midst of her hurried note taking she barely noticed the time. It wasn’t until Professor Lange abruptly stopped and announced that class was over that she realized she had been taking notes for over an hour straight. Her hand cramped as soon as she thought it.

Packing her bag, Nyah hurried over to where people were gathered at the door. Maybe if she was lucky she’d find her partner before she left. She didn’t even make it to the paper before she heard her name being called. “Nyah Robertson?”

Looking around, she couldn’t see who was saying her name. 

“Nyah Robertson?”

“I’m over here.” She raised her hand. 

It was near impossible to figure out who was calling for her because as she neared, everyone was calling out their partner’s names.

“Nyah Robertson?”

“Everyone out.” Professor Lange bellowed from his podium down in front. “I have another class starting in five minutes.

Nyah still hadn’t seen who her partner was, even though she had heard him. At least, it had sounded like a guy.

It seemed as though everyone else had already figured out their partners as they rushed out the door. Instead of following and hoping her partner stuck around, she went over to the paper and took a picture of it. 

“Clever.” Lange called out again. “The only one to take a picture and go. Good luck.”

In her surprise at being so singled out and noticed, she merely smiled back and left.

Once out in the hall she moved over to a nearby empty bench to find her name.

She had been right in assuming most had already found their partners because they had all paired off, some already making an outline while others were walking away with their heads practically glued together.

“Are you Nyah Robertson?”

Looking up Nyah smiled. “Yes. Hello.”

The man’s biceps bulged against his short-sleeved shirt as he extended his hand. “Fantastic. Everett Tollern. You a freshman?”

She nodded. “Is it that obvious?”

“Not very, but I could see the signs. This is my sister’s first semester also. Shall we get started?”

Everett pulled out the assignment sheet and studied it.

“Wait, so if your sister is a freshman what does that make you?”

He laughed. “Her annoying older brother. I thought that would be an obvious connection.”

Nyah blushed but didn’t look away. “You know what I meant. Are you a junior, senior, or lifer?”

“Lifer?” He laughed again. “Do I look that old?”

“No. But you are being purposefully obtuse about it so I had to throw it in as a possibility even if it was just to nudge you into answering. Now I’ve narrowed it down to two without requiring an actual answer.”

“Then I shall give you none and see if you can ascertain it for yourself.” He bowed his head with a huge grin on his face. “Good luck.”

“I won’t need it.” Nyah smiled back. “You are stuck spending time with me because of our assignment. You won’t be able to avoid me.”

His smile warmed. “I think we might find that I won’t want to avoid you.”

“Really?”

He nodded.

“We’ll see about that after this weekend.” She grinned.

He reached out his hand and she stared at it. “Can I have your phone so I can put in my number? We are going to need to be able to communicate outside of class if we are going to complete this by Monday.”

“Oh sure.” She would have slapped her forehead but instead pulled her phone from her bag to hand to him.

He was quick as he typed in his number and it was back in her hands. Looking down, she saw he had even added a picture of him.

Everett stood. “Now, don’t forget to text me real quick so I have your number too.”

She nodded. “Where are you off to now?”

“Class.” He smiled, leaning in. “And no, I won’t make it any easier on you by telling you what class.”

“Aww he’s smarter than he looks.” She teased with a grin.

“A regular old genius here.” He winked. “Text me. Don’t forget.”

As he walked off she opened her messages and shot off a text to him so she wouldn’t forget. 

Nyah: Junior. You’re a junior.

The text back was almost immediate.

Everett: Interesting. You’ll have to tell me why you think that.

Nyah: I’m right.

Everett: I didn’t say that.

Nyah: You didn’t have to. We need to get started on our assignment. The library at 7?

Everett: It’s a date.

Jamie

“Leave, Nolan.” Jamie resisted physically pushing him out of the way. She couldn’t bear to be that close to him. Tears threatened and she did not want her former best friend to see them.

“I can’t, Jamie. I can’t.” He sounded on the verge of crying himself. 

Taking several steps back, Jamie shook her head and folded her arms. “After what you said this morning I don’t want to even look at you and you haven’t the decency to give me the space you know I need at this very moment and will probably need for at least a few months.”

“You weren’t supposed to ever hear.” Nolan hung his head but still did not move.

Her hands fisted. “And how does that make it any better, Nolan?”

She was met with silence and an immovable wall of a man. If there was another exit, she would have gladly taken it.

“Jamie, please hear me out and then you can leave and I’ll do my best to never have you see me again if that is what you want.”

“Fine. Just don’t touch me.”

Nolan nodded quickly, motioning for her to sit down. He did not look her in the eye and she was glad of it. Her heart was still aching deeply from overhearing Nolan talking to Prissy Landers. She had thought nothing of it until she heard Prissy say Jamie’s name.

It had drawn her up short.

Earlier

“Jamie?” Nolan said. “Why bring her up?”

Prissy giggled. “Of course I had to bring her up. The two of you are constantly together. I am not willing to subject my friends to her if we were to act on our feelings.”

“It wouldn’t be a problem.”

“No?” Prissy didn’t sound like she believed him. “Won’t she be jealous?”

“I really doubt that. She thinks of me as a holding space. She can’t stand to go anywhere alone, so until she manages to attach herself to a boyfriend, I fill that space. We would just need to find her another fill in and she won’t pay me any mind at all.”

“Nolan, you sound positively mercenary.” Prissy giggled again.

Standing slumped around the corner, Jamie could barely breathe. She didn’t hear anything more. She wasn’t sure if they had moved farther away or if her heart couldn’t bear to hear anymore and had blocked it out.

Unfortunately she was so far lost in her own pain that she did not hear the footsteps approaching until there were feet facing her. 

She looked up and into the face of Reese Dunn.

“Are you alright?” He pulled her back up to standing. “You look as if you were suffering a stroke.” His light smile pulled her attention away from her broken heart, just a little.

She shrugged. “I’ll admit I have just received some painfully enlightening news and I am still reeling I suppose.”

“Shall I stay with you until the bell rings?” He held her hand as he moved to lean against the wall next to her.

She looked down at their entwined hands in shock, then up at him.

He gave her another small smile. “I’ve heard that human touch can have a healing effect when matters of the heart are involved.”

“I…thank you.” Jamie let her head drop back against the wall. “I’ve discovered a friend of mine considers me a mere nuisance he can pawn off to any other on a whim.”

“Nolan said that?” Reese focused on her face and she felt herself blush.

“Who said anything about him?” Jamie hedged.

“Jamie. Everyone knows that the two of you are near inseparable. I think most of the underclassmen assume that you are a couple.”

Jamie’s heart tore a little more. Her head down and her gaze fixed on her feet. “I had hoped it would have eventually happened, I admit. I was never in any rush.”

Reese pulled her away from the wall.

“Where are we going?”

“I think you need a change of scenery.” His delighted smile captivated her.

“What do you mean? School is about to start.”

It was then that Nolan came around the corner, alone. She could see his surprise at seeing them there. Maybe even more surprised to see her holding hands with Reese. Her heart withered but her ire rose like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her. Reese lightly squeezed her hand, drawing her back and grounding her.

“Jamie.” Nolan smiled. “I was just looking for you.”

“Why?”

It was probably the flatness of her tone and the lack of her usual enthusiasm to see him that clued him in to the fact that something was wrong.

“Why was I looking for you? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Reese moved toward Nolan, placing himself slightly in front of Jamie.

She had to step to the side to be seen. She laid a hand on Reese’s arm. When he looked back at her, she smiled, hoping he’d understand. He seemed to, when he stayed where he was and didn’t block her again.

“Why would you be looking for me at all?” Jamie could scarcely breathe. “So I wouldn’t be alone? Because I am so helpless without you that I need you to find me a boyfriend to cling to so you can be relieved of your responsibility?”

His face paled at her words. “Jamie?”

“Reese?” She turned back to Reese, completely blocking Nolan from her view. “You said you wanted to show me something?”

“Jamie.” Nolan called out again as Reese escorted away. Jamie made it a point not to look back.

Now, sitting in the classroom with Nolan pacing back and forth in apparent distress, Jamie didn’t feel the pain. She didn’t feel anything, even as the tears threatened.

“You wanted to say something?” She coldly ground out. This was an agony she wanted over and done.

“Could you please just pretend you didn’t hear anything this morning?” He faced her, dropping down in front of her. She leaned back.

“Why? And how?” Jamie shook her head. “I don’t think I could ever manage to erase the disdain in your voice as you spoke of me to Prissy.”

“I was trying to assure her that you wouldn’t have a problem with my dating her.” 

“And did it work?” Jamie glared. “Is she your one and only true love?”

Nolan’s head dropped again. “No.”

She wanted to slap him. “So you made me out to be a pathetic, clingy, worthless piece of trash for nothing.”

“Please, Jamie. I want us to still be friends.” He pleaded.

“Again, why?” Jamie stood. “You made it very clear that I am an annoyance interfering with your love life. And after the realization I came to today, why would I want to be your friend? You’ve proven yourself to be a worthless sort of friend today and the worst sort of crush to have.”

“Jamie.” 

“No, Nolan. Reese is waiting for me, as a friend should.”

She reached the door.

“Jamie, wait. I love you.”

She whirled. “Don’t you dare say that. You betrayed me today and you expect me to forget it all because you now say that you love me? Goodbye, Nolan.”